21st Feb

Not everyone’s cup of tea but we do find American preacher Joel Osteen’s approach to life very healthy, somehow he turns every negative into a positive encouragement. He’s just talking about negative medical reports and how God sees them… Abraham had a child with his wife when they were around 100 years old! God delights in calling the impossible, possible. He has a plan for our lives and everything is available for us to work it out. We are called to live by faith and not by sight.

And yet when faced with a bad result from today’s x-ray for Jane at the hospital it’s so difficult to keep a hold of hope. I sometimes see the A52 coming back from Nottingham more like a river (of tears) than a strip of tarmac. There have been so many disappointments over the past four years and now Jane’s symptoms are beginning to bite it gets more and more difficult to cope and yet somehow we have to pick ourselves up. We cannot sink into despair and depression for if this is the end for Jane, and at this point I refuse to accept it, what a horrible way to live one’s last days. We have to keep a hold of hope and there is plenty to enjoy day by day by day. We have an amazing loving family, and friends close to us particularly in the church are really sensitive and very supportive.

It was lovely for Jane meeting an old friend Sunday evening who was simply walking past the church on her way home; she’s not normally a churchgoer at the moment and the guy on the door invited her to come in… I believe he knew her through his wife. We arrived at the same time and she came and sat inside with Jane, holding her hand for a long time when she found out Jane’s predicament. It’s wonderful how people can be so caring in so many different ways.

The only really good news at hospital today is that Jane seems strong enough to cope with chemotherapy starting 3pm Tuesday (tomorrow) as a day patient. Her consultant has decided to offer her the lowest dosage in order to gauge effectiveness whilst giving the best chance for quality of life. A second treatment of a partner drug will be given in one week and then a review a couple of weeks after that.

Psalm 91 v7 ‘Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you these evils will not touch you’ (NLT)