Friday, November 23, 2012

Don't Look Down

Sometimes you've just got to take a chance, even though one careless step might lead to a far more serious problem. Yeah, I really love this walk across the cliffs at Dover, but for sure vertigo has me feeling just a little queasy at times! I've been on any number of similar walks as well, but no sign of even beginning to get used to it just yet. The rewards are always great with tremendous views, and an inner satisfaction, having conquered fear to complete the more challenging stretches. I never enjoy high wind at such times though!

I allowed myself to be challenged a few nights ago, when offered the opportunity to lead worship at a monthly mid-week meeting in the church cafĂ©  So rather more than a small house group and it’s been a while since I did that. Quite naturally I was a little nervous, particularly as I struggle with concentration due to me/cfs. But in the event I didn't fall off the cliff and managed to get through the evening thoroughly enjoying myself, almost like the ‘old-days’ it was. And now I have another ‘gig’ tomorrow, Saturday, so nerves have now been conquered and I feel quite chilled. It was good to be pushed.

I made a new ‘friend’ a couple of weeks ago and I'm currently walking along the scariest cliff edge I've ever walked… yeah vertigo and everything! After 40 years with Jane and still madly and always in love with her, actually starting a new relationship was strictly off limits… until the Lord placed a very like-minded widow right in front of me, impossible to ignore. She understands my pain and allows me to talk freely about it. I know for sure that God’s peace is with me so I guess I can trust that he knows what he is doing (I don’t) but there are no real guide books about how to walk through grief and beyond. It’s make it up as you go along time, though let’s just say I’m determined to go slow, very slow. But I'm having real fun for the first time in a very long time!

Joshua 1:9This is my command—be strong and courageous’ (NLT)

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