3rd March Chemo Day 10

I’ve always felt that ill health is a complete waste of time, obvious really but of itself it has no purpose whatsoever. Of course God can use sickness for his purpose, teaching us patience, encouraging us to draw close to him, building trust and so on, but of itself what’s the point? Some might say it’s a curse upon mankind as a consequence of wrong living by ourselves, by those living around us or by our ancestors. Others see sickness as a punishment from God or even an attack from the devil. Over the past few years we’ve asked the question ‘Why are we ill?’ many times, seeking to perhaps resolve the problem in some way and though we’ve tried just about every trick in the book we still have got no idea whatsoever!

So of course we persevere in prayer and continue to seek God for his word, his favour. We engage with most of what the NHS has to offer and we guard our health as best as we can but that then leaves us with the challenge of making sure that this season of life is not a waste of time. Of course it’s always encouraging being able to help other people or even just enjoy their company but that’s not always possible. Some days, like today, apart from some encouraging phone calls we see no one and nothing much seems to happen. That’s probably good for we both need to rest and recover after the intensity of Tuesday’s hospital visit for Jane’s chemo. I like to think though that every day, no matter how uneventful, has something of value… no matter how small and then we should give thanks to God for that! Today for example I decide to give our motorhome a little run as it’s been standing for too long now. I didn’t get very far before I realised that the speedo was completely malfunctioning. I stopped off at the garage and after being jolted at a potential £600+ replacement cost decided to have a go myself. I stripped down the dashboard, disassembled the speedo and repaired the thing myself in around thirty minutes for free. Turns out the damage was probably caused by allowing the battery to flatten and then charging too quickly messing up the electronics… I need to watch that next winter. Having a go at something you’ve never done before can really pay off sometimes.

Although Jane is gradually improving as regards her cough, breathing and pain she still has to be very careful. Chemo can cause all sorts of problems which need attention… so today whilst Jane felt quite a bit better she decided to try a very small shopping expedition. No problem but stamina is very limited and within a few minutes she was ready for home. It seems that Tuesday really was a big day and time is still needed to recover. We are very hopeful for something good coming out of this step of faith. Happiness is not all that illusive; it really helps doing something constructive be it in the big things like going through chemo or the little things like repairing a broken speedometer!

Psalm 37v23 ‘The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives’. (NLT)