5th April

Dealing with the reality of Jane’s situation is so hard at the moment. Maintaining our faith journey has to be the most important thing, keeping our eyes upon Jesus our prime focus. But it ain’t easy! The hospital environment completely envelops every thought and activity when placed there without option. Jane has not moved more than a step away from her bed for three days and had to deal alone with some very difficult challenges. She has yet to have the fluid drained from around her lung which is causing the immediate problems and was first diagnosed Saturday afternoon. It ‘may’ happen tomorrow Wednesday if they can find space for her. She remains very apprehensive about this and just wants it over with. Today was all booked up.

Our own analysis has been confirmed… there’ll be no more chemo and no other treatment is available. Jane is being referred back to Derby and the Macmillan team of doctors and nurses for palliative care only. A final immense sting she faced, again all alone, was the question ‘should you die would you want to be resuscitated?’ The doctor forced to ask this was very kind and the nurse with him we’ve known for years was in tears. How can you do this for a living? These people are immense!

So… how do we deal with this? Faith is a gift from God but having been given it is then for us to quite simply choose to accept and believe.  Ok so let’s choose to believe that Jane is going to be healed, a cast iron certainty, no doubts, and no problem I do believe! The only thing that can deny us from witnessing that is something even better and in a way far more wonderful… Jane’s promotion to glory! She’d be stepping into a life of perfection living with Jesus in paradise waiting for our reunion in one way or another. It could be my wishful thinking but I reckon God may yet restore her to health and even the workplace first… an undeniable miracle in my book and his.

Isaiah 55v8,9 ‘ “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”’ (NLT)