6th October

Well I did wonder how I might feel today. Exactly 38 years ago I was partying the night away at my wedding reception; it was a wonderful day surrounded by friends and family and we certainly had fun. But the most special part of the day was as we stood at the altar and the presence of God fell upon us in such a powerful way. It was only years later that I understood what I had experienced, as at the time we were not committed Christians; and although I had been a regular church-goer, even that nominal faith was then placed on the back-burner for the next ten years. Despite that, God showed up and blessed our union with a touch from heaven and I have to say that Jane made me the happiest man in the world every single day that we were together. She was truly God’s gift to this man and I am so grateful for the time we spent together. And I have no complaints about her being called home early as her life belongs to God and not me. I still feel a little empty though but as regards it being my wedding anniversary I’m actually not feeling much different, if anything I don’t feel too bad today compared with the past week or two. Maybe somebody’s been praying again…

And I’ve been kept busy through the day which probably helps. I spent the morning with my parents at the National Memorial Arboretum which is designed as a place to remember those who have served our nation in many different ways, but it does have a major military emphasis with a centrepiece which names every member of our armed forces who has died on active service since WW2. I’m not sure how much I connected with it though; it’s set in 150 acres with 50,000 fairly young trees and some 200 dedicated memorials to different groups of people. But there were lots of wreaths scattered around the place alongside countless personal tokens which seemed to add a human touch to the institutionalised feel of the place.  And even though it was midweek, with not ideal weather, it was all quite busy with young and old come to remember. Whilst I do believe we should honour those who’ve given their lives in serving our nation, and see this as a useful way of doing that, I actually knew none of the people remembered there and that’s why I struggled to connect emotionally. Nonetheless I remain substantially awestruck at the bravery of the individuals who don battledress and climb into war machines to do battle on behalf of my freedom. I find their single-minded determination to overcome the greatest of challenges quite inspirational and have a collection of both fiction and non-fiction books covering the past thousand years or so to stir me. But I have many concerns and not a few doubts about those who orchestrate such happenings.

2 Timothy 2:3-4 ‘Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them.’ (NLT)