17th May

It’s been a difficult day after a difficult night as Jane is increasingly challenged with her breathing, and she’s been taking morphine every two hours day and night which is quite exhausting for us both. But we are working hard at making life as easy and simple as possible and this morning the dreaded hair wash and shower was nowhere near as traumatic as the last time… finding ways to minimise effort is the order of the day as any strain at all causes breathing problems. Jane’s Macmillan nurse was particularly helpful by getting an emergency delivery of some equipment the district nurse asked her to obtain as she wasn’t authorised to order. But they’re all working hard to help in any way they can and we’re so grateful to these people. Tomorrow, Wednesday, I have to get Jane to Derby Royal for an appointment with the palliative care consultant for a review and that’ll be a challenge in itself but hopefully worthwhile.

We really do need help, the sort of help that only our God in heaven can provide. And we know he is able, he can heal, he can restore, he can make all things new… including Jane’s broken body. Of course the one thing we all have in common is that one day we’ll die and as Christians death has no fear attached to it, indeed stepping into eternity to meet with our Lord Jesus face to face is seen as something far better than the troubles of this life. But accepting premature death without a fight doesn’t work for me, especially when there is still a life to be lived serving God and reaching out to the lost and the needy… so I keep praying and hoping and seeking and believing that God may yet deliver Jane from the horror she continues to endure so gracefully.

Psalm 121:1-2 ‘I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!’ (NLT)