16th August

Another day of child minding; only this time I’ve managed to stroll through the day without any real effort and don’t feel too bad. The trick was to take them to my other daughter’s in Loughborough and get all four grand-kids together so they look after themselves. But it was a bit noisy, until they all disappeared upstairs to a bedroom and that was nice, as I had a quiet chat with my daughter. She’s off to the Green Man music festival this coming weekend and taking my 5 year old grand-daughter camping with her… very brave I think. She plays in a folk group and I think they are all going including another couple of young children whose grandmother seems willing to child-mind of an evening so that works out well for my daughters musical entertainment. My son-in-laws been given a family pass for Greenbelt Christian festival – he’ll have to work there - so they’re off camping again the following weekend as well. Every year I get nudged to go myself and the mix of music and creative arts does sound interesting so maybe next year… my last experience of a music festival was the 1970 Bath Festival of Blues and Progressive Rock attended by 150,000. I presume they’ve changed a little since then… and so have I.

But I am trying to take a hold of what it means to be a single man again. And 1970 was the year before I met Jane which is my only point of reference… and I was a bit of a hippy. So the last time I had a haircut was in the spring and I’m wondering how long I dare leave it as a token step towards understanding what it means to be single again and only needing to please myself. Yes I know I live to please the Lord but I believe he put within me everything I need to become the man he created me to be. So what is on the inside that needs nurturing?

I’ve been trying to remember the key ingredients of my life at that time to try and identify those which might be part of my identity today. I spent most of my time at work, where I was a trainee Chartered Accountant, but that didn’t work out for me as the job was totally boring. I never did find employment that I particularly enjoyed other than voluntary work for the church over the following decades. So maybe that’s one lesson to remember, money has never been a motivating factor, I’m far more interested in people and especially the work of God. And as a teenage lad girls ought to have been on my mind. I suppose they were, but I only went out for a few months with one girl before Jane and she was a nice ‘Christian’ girl, but I really can’t claim that girl chasing was ever part of my life. And I’m quite sure it never will be. If the Lord has plans for me in that direction he’ll have to work a miracle to open my heart to another. I have to say though that the only real love of my life as a teenager was my guitar. And in a different way it’s still very important to me, I expect it always will be.

I’m not sure that trying to analyse things in this way is likely to get me anywhere but I have to start somewhere. My future is an empty book, with the Lord’s guidance and my obedience I intend to fill those pages with the story of a full and fruitful life. God is good and life is worth living!

Revelation 19:7-8 ‘Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honour to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself. She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.” For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.’ (NLT)