5th August

And now I’m really exhausted. It’s an emotional thing of course as apart from a little walking and the usual chores I’ve done almost nothing all day. But it’s been such a special day and yes the sun shone wonderfully, so much so that we’re back to outdoor living again. We hit the beach at lunchtime and didn’t move until 7.30pm which for me is some sort of record. I’ve never had a BBQ on a beach before so that was fun… yes it really was! And I reckon we all went paddling at some stage or other and several of us went swimming which I don’t really understand, but it was certainly brave but I stayed firmly behind the video camera. It was a shame that my youngest daughter’s fiancée couldn’t join us as it was probably the perfect family outing though one other missing person would have absolutely loved it. Jane was certainly right at the centre of our thoughts for the whole day.

So after lunch we gathered near the sea and decided to collect stones to create a large heart shape. For the past couple of years Jane has been collecting hearts and we have them hanging in our living room. This was our way of giving her one more to complete the collection. Anyway we sat around the heart and remembered how special she was and a few of us said thankyou… for the smile she always wore, for the way she never judged anyone, for how she always listened, for all the fun outings with grandchildren, for making play-doh and reading stories. But how can I say thankyou for 40 years of perfect happiness in a few minutes. Eventually no more words were needed so I took Jane’s ashes into the sea and carefully poured them out… then for a very long time we just sat there remembering the wife, mother, mother-in-law and nanna who has gone to live with Jesus.

And suddenly I felt completely peaceful as if the stress of the past few months had been totally lifted off me. Though I felt relaxed I was also really exhausted and drained of all energy. But I feel that now I have done everything properly to say goodbye to Jane’s earthly remains and that feels good.

And tomorrow is my eldest daughter’s birthday so we have more quality family time to keep us busy… I need a good night’s sleep for sure.

Philippians 1:6 ‘And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. (NLT)