No matter how lost we may
feel, if we open our eyes there’s always a way forward. The path is always
marked. Although I’ve certainly not been busy, today has been a very full day
and I haven’t had time to begin to process how I feel about returning home. The
Lord has touched my heart in a very special way over the past week or so, and I
need to keep hold of that good work. I cannot allow myself to return to being
an emotional wreck again, I remain determined to let go of Jane. But returning
to my house with every room filled with memories of our life together is always
going to be a challenge. And somewhere along the line I still have her wardrobe
and personal office to deal with. I know that the Lord is journeying with me
but right now it’s hard to gauge exactly where I am; there are things I’d like
to be doing and I’m a little hesitant about ignoring my grief journey to start
something new. Am I really ready to move on? It feels weird, almost miraculous
but I have to say a big yes… emotionally I truly am a changed man.
I’ve been a committed Christian
for almost 30 years, I know my God. I’m totally secure in my walk with him and
can look back to countless memories of his intervention in my life. Not the least
of which is the grace upon Jane as she lived through the trial of terminal
illness. And I’ve taken time out to read and understand the Bible, an amazing
revelation of the work of God in our world and life enhancing in so many
different ways. Even today. I have complete confidence in Jane’s current
whereabouts and my own eternal destiny… I’m on my way to heaven because the
Bible tells me so! Yes, the Lord has been with me over the decades in a
wonderful way; and my future is secure… so how could I doubt my journey through
life today? I don’t. God is with me and working for good as I walk with him.
1 John 5:11-13 ‘And
this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is
in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does
not have life. I have written this to you who believe in the name of the Son of
God, so that you may know you have eternal life.’ (NLT)
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