16th March 2012

Well this little chap has certainly worked out how to keep his feet dry. I wish I could. I could sure do with finding a shortcut to climb up out of my present circumstances. But anyway, yes I managed one final walk through the forest and around the lake this morning before returning home. And after a few cloudy days the sun came out for my final trek so that was particularly welcome. I’ve enjoyed my few days away and feel quite rested now, especially as my headache has gone away. Methinks another break in a week or two seems a good idea as well… oh dear where did I find that word from? I could refer to Shakespeare but it was more likely Star Wars’ Jar-Jar Binks as I only watched it a week or two ago! Is recycling Old English eco-friendly?

I’ve been thinking about going away for a few weeks but kept finding reasons to stay home. Truth be told I was beginning to wonder if out of season camping was beginning to lose it’s appeal, so now I’m sure it hasn’t. At times the weather was certainly cold and rather dull but I found that to be completely irrelevant. I really enjoyed myself. Yesterday was a little windy but, having all the gear, it didn’t affect me at all. Though they may be rather expensive I’ve discovered my Bose headphones make excellent ear muffs! At least I now get a smile out of passers-by… hey, why can’t I pretend to be a cool young student, I’ve got the hair now haven’t I? What’s that? Should have bought Monster Beats, a nice crisp white pair. But I prefer Bose and if that’s the only difference between me and a 21 year old no-one will notice. Won’t they? I can start my life over any which way I choose, and I choose to ignore that grey hair I just spotted. Might be another one as well.

Everything I do, everything I say feels completely unreal at the moment. I still can’t get to grips with Jane being gone forever. Having been together for so long I instinctively consider sharing every idea and every bit of news with her, so at times I feel all bottled up with no-way of expressing what I’m thinking or feeling. I suppose that’s one reason why I write, but actually I feel like an alien, nothing seems to make sense anymore. Jane always understood my nonsense ramblings. Or at least pretended to. I can’t imagine anyone else would. Maybe my grandkids. A little. Until they grow up.

John 17:16 ‘They do not belong to this world any more than I do.’ (NLT)