Loneliness

There’s no place like home, and yes this is my little home for the week. I’m quite happy living in my motorhome, no matter for how long. It’s almost an extension of my house, it feels so comfortable. And peaceful. My only problem is internet access, a real test of patience. But I’m in no hurry. So anyway, now the kids are back at school the site has almost completely emptied and I have this field completely to myself, probably until the weekend. But it’s never that busy out of season. I love it. I enjoyed a lovely walk across the site after the sun went down last night, scattering dozens of rabbits, flinching when bats came fluttering past. Squirrels do their funny stop start running and wood-pigeons line up in a row on a fence just a yard away from my window. I love it all!

Almost all… “Oh Jane, where are you when I need you?” I’m not cut out for living alone, no matter what pleasures surround me. I never did anything on my own, I shared my whole life with family. Pretty much always gave preference to my lovely wife. When she let me. But she seemed to enjoy the same things as me anyway so I’ve had a wonderful life. I discovered years ago that pleasing those I love the most brings fulfilment that nothing else can compare with. My kids don’t need me so much in that way anymore, they’re all grown up and doing their own thing. Quite rightly. So now it’s just me… and God! And I love pleasing him more than anything. Yes, he’s with me in a very special way at the moment. His presence in my motorhome is so very precious and he keeps guiding me towards folk around me. I’ve had lots of great conversations with complete strangers over the past few days. The church I relate to in Deal is running a 3 day workshop over the weekend themed ‘Practicing the Presence of Christ’. They’ve invited me along so I’ll have company then at least. Ok, I may be getting used to being alone but I sure don’t like it. It just feels wrong. I want to share stuff, experiences, possessions, memories, hopes, dreams, whatever. Some days blogging keeps me sane. Someone to talk to, even though it’s a bit of a one way conversation most of the time! Pasta for dinner sounds good… all organic, anybody like to join me?

Psalm 116:1-2 ‘I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!’ (NLT)