Friday, September 14, 2012

Looks Can be Deceiving

It’s so easy to judge with invalid presuppositions. So last weekend I attended a 3 day church workshop, and if anyone had shared that info with me I’d instantly have a very clear idea of what it was all about. Yes, I’ve been on enough Christian and work related events to determine that businesses use conference facilities; churches use dedicated church buildings of varying quality and function. So my pic today is of a sizable private property, sited immediately adjacent to an historic castle, looking directly across the English Channel towards France. Quite idyllic. A large room downstairs provides for a church office; but many other rooms were made available for the weekend workshop. The view from the substantial 1st floor balcony is amazing and I actually got lost wandering up and down different staircases. A quite unique experience for me, and nothing like so many church halls or industrial park warehouse facilities that churches use nowadays. My home church recently bought and converted an office block opposite the old music hall we use for Sunday meetings. City centre traffic provides little competition to a beautiful seascape though.

Anyway, I still feel really good after my time away. Enthusiastic and almost energetic, almost like my pre-illness old self… until I attempt to do something. Yes my head feels good, but my body just won’t co-operate. I have almost zero stamina which is really annoying. This afternoon I set out to do long overdue hedge-cutting, and managed maybe 10 minutes before dizziness and heavy fatigue reared it’s ugly head. I’m so frustrated with ill health. I just want to live normally without having to pace my every activity. But to the outsider, I guess I just look completely normal. Apart from the increasingly long hair that is. And Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a life changing condition for sure, but no way do I give up. I’m determined to live normally, just not doing as much and a bit slower for now. So one day I hope to return to running and badminton… still not sure about squash!

Well medical science says that there is no cure for M.E., I can’t accept that. I want my life back. My future may look bleak – I’ve lost my wife and my health – but I see things very differently. A challenge for a season, that’s all. I really enjoyed Julia Bradbury’s ‘Coast To Coast’ walk across England, on TV a few years ago. I’d like to do that one day. Now there’s a challenge.

Exodus 15:26 ‘I am the Lord who heals you.’ (NLT)

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