Thursday, January 05, 2012

5th January

Today has been stormy. I’m talking about the weather not my emotions. And I’ve been doing the dad’s taxi thing again so a relatively busy day as well. So yes, the weather was rather windy and very wet as I drove my daughter first to school and then to her work just a few miles away, to save them a taxi fare and give me a half hour of delightful company. A fair trade I’d say for a few litres of petrol, and I even collected my daughter’s boss from her house to complete my good deed for the morning. Later in the day I circled Derby once more as I ferried my son-in-law from his home, to the garage to collect a new key, to his stranded car, back to my daughter’s workplace so she could have their car; and finally to the school where he works! So I’ve been going round and round in big circles all day and I really don’t mind as I’ve told them that when it’s my turn to ask for help I won’t feel at all guilty. They’ve done such a lot for me already and over these past few months they’ve been especially precious. My life would be a living nightmare without such a close supportive family. I can remember first making the effort to become a good friend with my eldest daughter when she was only about 10 years of age, and I’d take her out, just the two of us to various church related activities. Jane was usually too tired as we were still growing the rest of our four children. My eldest also played violin and I found her a place in the church music group whilst she was still at primary school. Good company then and ever since; and she played and sang with me for many years.

As I was driving home from my first excursion this morning the weather became quite dramatic and even produced a really vivid rainbow complete with secondary shadow. Always a beautiful sight that reminds of God’s promise to Noah that he would not flood the world again. Jane and I would often take the sighting of a double rainbow as a reminder of God’s favour upon our lives. And that’s how I felt this morning. The Lord’s blessing is upon me, he is working his purposes out in my life. He will never leave me to my own devices, he is attentive to my every thought and deed. As I should be attentive to him in all that he has for me. For it is only as I live according to his ways that I can truly live with peace and joy and hope and fulfilment once more.

So do I see my life as one that goes around and around in big circles, trying to get to grips with the continual challenges of my grief journey? Will I always have to live in the midst of a mighty storm of emotion? Or is there another way? I love my woodland walks, especially when the sun shines through the trees and the birds are singing… even the treks that I’ve enjoyed countless times, sometimes day after day, seem always to offer fresh experience around every corner. The weather and the seasons continually change perspective, and wildlife always surprises. Walking with the Lord is a bit like that, expecting to hear his voice, knowing his guiding presence. Always something new happening, something good, very good… just around the corner!

John 16:13 ‘When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.’ (NLT)

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