Sunday, November 11, 2012

Can't See The Wood For The Trees

The urgency of today can easily thwart our plans for tomorrow. Yet walking with God always leads us into life. So this past couple of weeks has been a real struggle with my health. I seem to be continually exhausted, no matter the measure of rest I take. Of course bereavement is in the equation and just recently I've felt quite sad again, and crying makes me ill. I need a pick me up, something to take my mind of things as I really need to move on. At least for a season. Yeah, I don’t presume to have completed my journey of grief; it’s just that I need a break, a respite, time to recover health. But what to do? Most recently I've usually thrown some clothes into my motorhome and driven off down the nearest motorway. Problem is, just recently I've needed to use a diary and can’t easily find space to travel, and that’s not something that’s happened for quite some time. December looks good for my camping break though. Brr!

So then, when I'm ill I rest, and then I recover. That’s how ME/CFS works, at least when not getting upset. But I have committed to support a smattering of church meetings, though at times really struggle to even attend. The interesting thing is that on every single occasion I've really enjoyed myself and felt all the better for making the effort. And actually these are the sort of things I would like to be more involved with, ‘cause there’s a real feel good factor that counters the downer of grief. So if I can break through the immediacy of chronic fatigue and embrace life, even in small measure, maybe I can take a positive step forward in overcoming illness. If nothing else I feel happier. Spending my time sitting around at home is seriously boring! Oh yes, I have a few worship leading ‘gigs’ lined up as well, so definitely looking forward to serving in that way again. And I remain determined to take up running again… just not today that’s all.

Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.’ (NLT)

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