Monday, November 05, 2012


Sometimes all you have left is hope, ‘cause all around is a shipwreck. So today I need to hoist that particular flag as high as high can be. Ok, you caught me, it’s an excuse for yet one more of my Deal holiday snaps as well! But having spent the better part of a couple of months living there this year, that should be no surprise. Travelling that couple of hundred miles on a number of occasions was far more important than a simple holiday though. Yes, my health, both mental and physical, are at the forefront of my shipwreck concerns at the moment. And that little seaside town on the south coast works wonders in both departments.

I’ve been ill for too long. Today I feel real grotty, though I’d rather not talk about it. Indeed I suspect most folk I come across have no idea that I do have a health problem. ME/CFS is like that, hidden from sight unless severely afflicted, which I’m not. It normally just slows me down, though today I’m completely stationary. So do I have a plan for recovery? Not really, but I do have hope! And a few indicators that promise more, like walking. Yes the Lord has placed within my heart the strongest love of the big outdoors. More than that, I actually feel more alive with mud under my feet and a bright blue sky overhead than in any other environment. And something within my heart says that one day I’ll be able to take up running again…

I am bereaved, but no longer totally bereft. I’m in recovery, my broken heart is mending, which is really rather exciting! So, on the face of it, though my life is as empty as empty can be in that department, I still have hope. All right, that hope has no clear definition as I have no idea whether the Lord or a second wife will fill that particular gap; but I am confident that it will be filled. Loneliness is still a major issue and such as last night, ongoing high emotions left me more than a little weepy. I rarely watch TV, and last night was Downton Abbey, the type of programme my wife would have thoroughly enjoyed; so without giving the plot away, there was a steady trickle of acts of kindness, changes of heart and all the rest of it; all designed to stir the emotions. Which it did of course, as I sat watching, all alone, in the middle of my settee with no-one to cuddle. Apart from Jane’s still grieving cat that is. He continues to howl day and night, whenever he’s not getting any attention… yeah, he does like my almost empty yoghurt pots!

Now here’s an interesting thought... a person I know, who suffered ME/CFS for years, made a more than full recovery around the same time as they met their current spouse!

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 ‘And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.
We tell you this directly from the Lord: We who are still living when the Lord returns will not meet him ahead of those who have died. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the Christians who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever. So encourage each other with these words.’ (NLT)

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