21st September

Well the season is certainly changing. Autumn is well and truly on it’s way and aside from a handful of visitors the campsite is completely empty. There are still a few European and English visitors using the site as they do the cross channel hop but it’s very different from last month when I came here with my family. But this is exactly what I need right now… some space to relax and recover. I stayed on site for the third day and the only person I’ve spoken to down here was the receptionist as I booked in again until Sunday. She was very kind as always after I shared my situation with her a few months ago, so I feel quite at home now… sort of.

I wonder how long it takes someone to settle into heaven. Jane’s been there for four months now and I wonder what it’s like. I know everything’s perfect there, the presence of God must be incredible and his grace immense but I can’t imagine she isn’t missing me as much as I miss her. Of course she will have an understanding of God’s purpose that I have to wait for and all her personal suffering will have ended as she was made perfect in his divine presence; but I know she will still be concerned for me even whilst resting in the perfect peace of God. She was the most compassionate person I ever met so how much more would she be caring about my well-being now?

But although Jane may be my personal cheerleader in heaven, stirring up prayer and rooting for me in every possible, I know for sure that my present well-being, my ongoing happiness and my future destiny are completely outside of Jane’s ability to help. Indeed even basic communication is never going to happen. My life, both now and into the future is determined solely by my relationship with the Lord Jesus. Whatever comes my way, whether it is blessing or trouble is vetted by him and I have little control over that side of things. What I do have though is control over my response to whatever is set before me. So in every situation I must pray with thanksgiving in my heart. And I will seek the Lord whilst he can be found. And I will keep hold of his peace. And I will confess that Jesus is Lord and in control of all things.

There’s a big, big world out there and my personal problems are so very tiny compared with the billions living in poverty, in famine conditions, with no clean drinking water or living with horrendous persecution and without anyone to tell them how Jesus can change their lives as much as he has changed mine.

2 Corinthians 5:6-10 ‘So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.’ (NLT)