24th January

Still waiting. Yes it’s been another relatively non-productive day, and they always feel such a waste. I did feel very slightly livelier first thing this morning, so I persevered with my normal Tuesday morning routine of transporting Jane’s mum to her meeting and then a trip to Sainsbury’s before collecting her again. She’s still seriously depressed over losing Jane and I had to spend some time talking things through with her, as she just wants to die and go to be with the Lord. Right now though I’m thinking that was all a mistake as I’ve been left with an unshakeable migraine ever since, and I’m not sure I can really help her. I know I cannot handle pressure at all. But it’s so hard just stopping everything and letting go. This afternoon I felt really poorly and decided to go for a short walk, simply to the local shops. But that was quite enjoyable and being completely without pressure it did me good. Over the years I’ve worked at all manner of treatments to try and deal with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome but all with no lasting effect. But normally I tend to make some improvement towards the end of summer and that has me thinking about vitamin D deficiency, which is very much in the news today. At different times I’ve played around with supplements and for the past 6 months or so I’ve resumed taking them as a daily routine. One of the several tablets I take is an over 50 multivitamin which already includes a high vitamin D dose. Simple research suggests it’s safe to take even higher so my shopping trip was for that and we’ll see how I get on over the next few weeks and months. I know the jury’s still out on the effectiveness of supplements, but over the past few months my son has caught a fairly severe cold on a couple of occasions. And both times it lasted for some days, whereas I ended up with the mildest of symptoms that disappeared within a few hours of starting. And I do take a very high Vitamin C tablet so who knows…

And now I’m proving I’m really good at something at last… reinforcing the gender stereotype! Yes only a man gets properly ill with the CFS equivalent of man-flu, and only a man tells the whole world how poorly he is. If only Jane were here to sort me out and stop me from complaining. Sorry.

Exodus 15:26 ‘I am the LORD who heals you.’ (NLT)