I’m reminded of a rollercoaster ride. The long hard slog to get to the top of the hill and then the downhill fall. But my ride is not that much fun and the continual alternating of heaviness followed by weightlessness would be much better confined to the adventure park. The last few days have been a real slog, but today you might say I’ve breached the crest of the hill when you begin to feel lighter. I suppose I still feel completely empty right now though, but certainly the heaviness has lifted. Emotionally I’m drained, there are no more tears in me and I guess now’s the time when I need to meet with the Lord. I need to be filled afresh with God’s Holy Spirit, the Spirit of hope and joy and power to live a life of abundance with God purpose. One day my tears of grief will cease, my soul will no longer be downcast; indeed I will throw off the cloak of discouragement and put on my garments of praise embracing a lightness in my spirit and a joy that knows no limit… and I do not have to wait for my own visit to heaven as God is with me now, and he is well able to deal with all despair.
And today? It’s been a quiet day of doing almost nothing. A lot of reading, a walk along the sea front with a long time sitting on the end of the pier simply staring out to sea… and thinking. But as I say, no tears and I don’t even feel particularly sad either. Just empty.
Isaiah 40:31 ‘But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.’ (NLT)
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