Getting on for twelve years ago I went on holiday with my family. At the time I was particularly busy working more than 50 hours a week in my job, helping to lead a weekly small group at church and regularly organising a team of musicians to lead Sunday worship. I enjoyed regular games of badminton and on one surprising occasion, actually on holiday, I totally overwhelmed my much younger and very fit son-in-law playing a game of squash. He’s a great footballer not really a racket person but who cares… the old man beat him. We had four children to care for and relate to in different ways and Jane’s elderly mother was also living with us. Life was very busy with many responsibilities and I needed a holiday.
I caught a cold on that holiday and it developed into some sort of flu or so I thought at the time. I had M.E. and over the next year or so I had not only lost my health and then my job but also my role in playing with a band… a particular pleasure I’d enjoyed since being a young teenager. Nonetheless life was pretty good; we had our children and eventually grandchildren and have enjoyed all sorts of experiences since then. Life slowed right down and everything demanded the most careful activity management. But we still lived and enjoyed so many of the normal pleasures of life albeit in moderation.
Today is very different. Jane is totally unable to engage with any sort of normality for more than the briefest period of time. Today she is severely fatigued and I know how she feels. She says the supply of oxygen she’s tied to is wonderful but what a way to have to live. We reckon that she is very slightly improving with her breathing and coughing but she has such a long way to go. We still see and enjoy our family but otherwise my only connection with the outside world is travelling to hospitals or Sainsburys… oh and the dad’s taxi thing now and then! We long for a move of God in our lives.
John 3:30 ‘He must become greater; I must become less.’ (NIV)
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