Sunday, May 01, 2011

1st May

And yet again it all feels too much; life really is too hard at the moment. Last night Jane felt a simple tickle in her throat and all of a sudden she was choking and unable to breathe, for a few minutes it was horrible. It settled down eventually and she was soon back to ‘normal’, whatever normal is nowadays. But today was a difficult day emotionally with the obvious questions… ‘What’s going to happen to me, what will it be like, how will I cope?’ Somehow we have to keep our focus upon the Lord, he alone is our refuge, our place of safety, he is our God and we must trust him!

This afternoon for the first time in ten days Jane ventured outdoors, determined to break out of the difficulties facing her. We enjoyed a very blustery walk with Jane in her wheelchair along a bridleway threading through golden flowered rape fields down to nearby Markeaton Brook. We went there a lot last year successfully pursuing a fleeting glimpse of our local kingfisher, but no photo unfortunately. It’s funny how even a small achievement such as simply leaving our house for an hour makes life worth living again. But it was a bit blustery!

And I made fish-pie for our evening meal for the first time in my life… and Jane finished every last bit, which can’t be bad can it? I’m learning.

I sort of have a namesake in the Bible, a man named Jabez which sounds like a Hebrew word meaning “distress” or “pain” and he prayed a very famous prayer. Commonly in Bible times we see that names had some sort of prophetic indication and it was therefore quite pertinent for Jabez to ask God to change this in his life. I believe it’s now time for us to be delivered from our distress and pain.

1 Chronicles 4:10 ‘He was the one who prayed to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!” And God granted him his request.’ (NLT)

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