26th July

Despite my intention to follow in my children’s footsteps I surrendered to the inevitable today. I suppose it’s a generational thing but I really couldn’t stop myself from getting the ironing board out. As far as I’m aware my children hardly ever iron anything, something about hanging things up rather than leaving them in an ironing basket is the answer apparently. But that doesn’t seem to work for me so even though ironing has to be the most boring job imaginable, today was the day. The only way I ever survive this ordeal is by watching a movie and I found one to stir the fight in me once again. The power of motivation linked with complete determination is immense in some individuals leading to incredible acts of bravery and personal sacrifice. I find it easy to succumb to temptation and surrender to my own weakness, be it physical or mental. But I refuse to enter the land of self-pity thinking I’ve done my years of sacrificial living or indulge in self-gratification saying I deserve some treats; it’s not how I should live. Yes there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the good things that life can offer but all good things come from heaven above… for me they need the touch of God upon them not just my credit card or whatever. And although I can no longer accommodate my wife in the decisions I make, I can seek the Lord giving him preference over my own ideas… good or bad.

So then, the movie I watched was Swedish and called Arn: Knight Templar and it was actually quite good if you can leave aside the politics and brutality of the Crusades. And also the religious aspect which was surely not God inspired in any way, the whole thing was quite errant I reckon… but who am I to say, I wasn’t around at the time and history does get distorted. But this was just a movie. And a love story that perpetuated through decades of separation for a young couple so much in love. A perfect example of motivation, bravery and sacrifice provoking a response in me. The love of my life has gone ahead, stepping into eternity to take her place in heaven. How will I live my life until we meet again? Dare I doubt God has a purpose for my life? Dare I take a hold of worldly pleasures and risk missing the rewards of heaven?

I must be brave I know and journey through whatever life sets before me with simple determination always to do what is right and pleasing to the Lord.

Matthew 6:33 ‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (NLT)