Apparently it never rains when my daughter goes camping... that’s the claim anyway. And today has certainly been wonderful, although a very lengthy visit to the beach has left my face feeling a little dry and I’ve had to resort to a little oil to repair the skin. I’m quite confident I’ve not been burnt and it’s simply the heat which has cooked me and anyway it’s been really nice having my two youngest grand-children to share quality time. So they’ve been paddling and had a go at building stone-castles as there’s no sand here, but they’ve just spent a week near Brighton so their stony beach skills are presumably well developed by now. And the real star of the day has been Errol Flynn in a 1938 version of Robin Hood which they are totally absorbed in… and I’m beginning to find fascinating myself. It’s in full colour and looks as crisp and clean as any 2011 movie! The sound track shows it’s age just a little but it’s acceptable.
For a few minutes as I sat on the beach I struggled to accept the fact that Jane has gone though. It was as though she belonged there with my daughter, my son, my grand-children and most especially with me. I miss her so much, more than that it feels as though I need her and struggle to imagine life without her. From where I sit she was the cohesive force behind so many family activities and somehow she always seemed to be able to organise us in any and every situation. I’m quite sure my daughters fit that role perfectly but I haven’t a clue. Two of my children and one grandson have birthdays whilst we are away whilst I’m sure no-one expects much from me I can’t help thinking that Jane would have been able to inspire and facilitate the three days of celebrations in a way that I never could.
And later this year my youngest daughter will be getting married and it made Jane so very happy the week before she died when her engagement was announced. They’re planning a very small and quite personal wedding and I’m sure Jane would have loved engaging with the plans in a way that I wouldn’t dare. My daughter has all the prerequisite skills and is quite able to choose exactly the right thing to do for herself with help from her beloved… a bit like Jane really with help from her beloved.
She doesn’t need my help anymore though does she? Nobody does… aaargh there goes the poor old me thing again!
Romans 12:6-8 ‘In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.' (NLT)
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