Thursday, August 04, 2011

4th August

So then now we’re back to normal. English holiday weather I mean… it’s been raining for most of the day, but that’s alright as I needed a rest having done far too much all week. No matter how much I want to do something and no matter how much I enjoy doing it, M.E. is a major factor in my life and can’t be ignored. And today the rest of my family have joined us and the fun really starts as my 5 berth motorhome works best with just two people and now we have 11 to shelter. At least we have a couple of family sized tents to spread out in if necessary though we’ve been so blessed with living outdoors all week it’s hard to consider having to shelter. So it’s good that the weather forecast is sunshine again for tomorrow as we also plan to find a quiet place on the beach to remember Jane and scatter her ashes. I’m struggling to tune into that with the busyness of a family holiday and need to find a little space to collect my thoughts.

On the campsite today a guy walked past with 3 enormous though quite beautiful dogs, and an older lady walking in front of me stretched out her hand to pet one of them. Instinctively I shied away remembering being attacked so many times whilst doing home visits when I was at work. I remembered Jane’s love of dogs and for sure she would be the one petting and the dog would always respond so positively. She knew how to connect with animals in a very special way. And also children. Last week I viewed a video I made on her last birthday in January when we all sat around a table getting ready for a craft activity that my daughter had prepared. My young grandson made a little comment and Jane’s face instantly burst into the biggest smile you can imagine… she absolutely delighted in spending time with the little ones. I miss all of that as I’m not like that at all though I want to be… I find it too easy to see pets as a chore for others to enjoy rather than creatures to build a relationship with. It’s similar with children although I’m trying to learn to see them as people rather than as projects in training. Jane certainly taught me such a lot in how to relate to people of every age group.

Unfortunately she didn’t finish and I have such a lot to learn and no-one to teach me now. And that’s a bit sad especially as I have a lot of unspoken thanks as well.

Galatians 6:6 ‘Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.’ (NIV)

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