Tuesday, June 14, 2011

14th June

What a long day it’s been today. I didn’t sleep particularly well last night and then have been on the go all day so I’m feeling totally exhausted right now. But at least I’ve been nicely distracted by keeping so busy. This lunchtime I enjoyed a picnic at nearby Kedleston Hall – my third visit in a couple of weeks – with my youngest daughter as a companion and we had a little cry together thinking of her mum. I love my kids and it’s a privilege to be able to spend a few hours together, just the two of us, talking about life and stuff. She announced her engagement just a week before Jane passed away and that made us so happy, so now she’s beginning to play with ideas for the wedding which I suspect may be a little different. I’m all for it… we’re all unique individuals so why try and fit into some else’s box?

All in all I’m being well looked after by those around me… I was invited out for an evening meal  and that was followed by our church house group meeting. I don’t think I’ve had a proper sit down for 17 hours now so it’s no wonder I’m so tired. Anyway on the way home tonight I turned on the radio and caught just the end of an interview with someone who was studying grief. One idea gave me food for thought as she was talking of the process of grief. She seemed to be saying that the loss of a loved one will obviously be part of your life for the rest of your life. But if we engage with the process of grief then the expression of grief will eventually pass. There was some other stuff about different stages which may or may not be relevant to every individual but basically she suggested that there is a ‘healthy’ mechanism for dealing with loss built into each one of us. The key ingredient seems to be the passage of time, whilst allowing grief to evolve. I can do that. Whilst praying of course…

Proverbs 24:10 If you falter in a time of trouble, how small is your strength!’ (NIV)

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