Sunday, June 05, 2011

5th June

Today’s been a tearful day making final preparations for Monday’s funeral. I’ve re-read through all the sympathy cards in one go and also my e-mails and chosen a few appropriate comments to include in the ceremonies and that was comforting and challenging at the same time. People are so very kind. We’re having a private family cremation first followed by a public celebration at Derby City Church at 12pm, so that makes it quite a big day but Jane is worth it!

It still feels strange being able to go to church again, and today I went twice… a real treat. This evening’s meeting was very relaxed and completely informal. We enjoyed a beautiful time of worship led very sensitively and the presence of God filled the room with his perfect peace. For me there is no earthly pleasure that could ever compete with spending time with the Lord. One day we shall all meet him face to face but until then I am determined to honour and serve him as best as I can. I only want to please him by seeking his will for my life.

And I suppose I’ve got freedom now to do just about anything I like when I like. I have almost no responsibilities and after tomorrow my diary is basically empty. There’ll be a few family things of course but as regards my personal future I start with a blank slate and that’s an interesting challenge in itself.

Lord, help me to live a life that honours you. The thought of living without Jane as my partner is so very difficult; but I know, my God, that you can fill that void; you can strengthen and guide my steps, you can set before me God purpose and in time, my Lord, I know that I will be restored to even greater things.

Psalm 30:5 ‘Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.’ (NLT)

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