Wednesday, June 01, 2011

1st June

I suppose I’ve been feeling a little low today, I know I’m very tired and probably surviving on adrenalin but there is so much to think about which can’t really be ignored. Including a certain amount to organise regarding the funeral and I’m so tired as all the time there are reminders of Jane everywhere which is  always upsetting. But I am determined to get the funeral right even if I have to handle a few deadlines right up to the wire. It’s easy to delegate just about everything and nice to have the back-up of less emotional folk who are slightly at arm’s length from Jane and me but I really want this to be as personal as possible. Obviously it’s an important day and emotions will be high but I intend to just go for doing some stuff and see what happens. Our pastor is well able to pick the pieces quite seamlessly I know… he’s great!

So I spent the morning assembling bookcases. For too long my books have been stored in boxes in the attic completely inaccessible, most of them were purchased second hand from charity shops or on-line so my library looks a little jaded but who cares? At least I can sort through them and decide which to keep. Jane only recently started a collection of classics which might be good to display but then I find some books from our early Christian life 20-30 years ago, James Dobson’s book on raising a family, a book on praying together as man and wife and a whole bunch on building marriage. It’s all a bit much to cope with at the moment and so I give my eldest daughter a hug whilst we weep together. Then we go shopping… again.

Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.’ (NIV)

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