Monday, June 25, 2012

25th June 2012

Now that’s not something you see every day. Over 50 swans all sharing the same space without a hint of territorial argument. I found them in the canal basin at Stratford a few years ago, and I reckon they’re well able to cope with their normally ‘difficult’ companions when tourists are throwing food at them all day. Yes, they’re a happy bunch for sure, perfectly adapted to their surroundings and actually thriving, though I cannot conceive of there being any real predators to worry about. Maybe the occasional barge to avoid and that’s about it.

I’m quite seriously ill with CFS at the moment and need to find a way to break out of the ongoing relapse. It’s all very frustrating. Today I completely gave up trying to manage my activity levels. After coming downstairs one step at a time, which just feels stupid when I’m quite a strong bloke able to walk several miles on a good day, I spent the morning collapsed in a chair. Come lunchtime I decided to ignore how I felt and picked up my paintbrush to continue decorating. Fortunately a friend called around after I’d been working for only a short time and so an early coffee break stalled my recklessness. But late afternoon I picked the brush up again and made reasonable progress, though how it affects my fatigue levels I won’t know until tomorrow. I can’t get much worse that’s for sure.

Somehow I need to work harder at adapting to my surroundings. I’m ill, I can do very little to affect that. I’m widowed, I can do nothing about that whatsoever. These are both things that I have to accept. At least today. For sure God has allowed them to come my way and he is the only one who can change things. Maybe tomorrow he will, though science has no cure for my illness and of course I’ve tried everything on offer. In the meantime my focus has to be upon the Lord and the good things that he is doing; not upon the things that he is yet to do.

Luke 1:37 For nothing is impossible with God’ (NLT)

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