Thursday, May 31, 2012

31st May 2012

No matter how lost we may feel, if we open our eyes there’s always a way forward. The path is always marked. Although I’ve certainly not been busy, today has been a very full day and I haven’t had time to begin to process how I feel about returning home. The Lord has touched my heart in a very special way over the past week or so, and I need to keep hold of that good work. I cannot allow myself to return to being an emotional wreck again, I remain determined to let go of Jane. But returning to my house with every room filled with memories of our life together is always going to be a challenge. And somewhere along the line I still have her wardrobe and personal office to deal with. I know that the Lord is journeying with me but right now it’s hard to gauge exactly where I am; there are things I’d like to be doing and I’m a little hesitant about ignoring my grief journey to start something new. Am I really ready to move on? It feels weird, almost miraculous but I have to say a big yes… emotionally I truly am a changed man.

I’ve been a committed Christian for almost 30 years, I know my God. I’m totally secure in my walk with him and can look back to countless memories of his intervention in my life. Not the least of which is the grace upon Jane as she lived through the trial of terminal illness. And I’ve taken time out to read and understand the Bible, an amazing revelation of the work of God in our world and life enhancing in so many different ways. Even today. I have complete confidence in Jane’s current whereabouts and my own eternal destiny… I’m on my way to heaven because the Bible tells me so! Yes, the Lord has been with me over the decades in a wonderful way; and my future is secure… so how could I doubt my journey through life today? I don’t. God is with me and working for good as I walk with him.

1 John 5:11-13 And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life. I have written this to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life.’ (NLT)

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